THUG TANK - Goon Squad Orc Blog - 29 (Semi Final)

Every team has a story. If you want to tell the BB world yours, then this is the place to do it.

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JaM
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Post by JaM »

Go Goons !! Indeed.
Again, nice write-up. I have no idea what a "niggle" does nowadays (at work, so I cant check the book) but I hope it was worth to sack the Big Guy...

You are quite lucky to have the time and place AND opponents to play so many interesting matches 8). Now go forth and slaughter them all !! :D

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Post by bouf »

It isn't really luck... I'm the one who started the league! :wink:

Thanks so much for the support guys!
JaM wrote:I have no idea what a "niggle" does nowadays
+1 to all injury rolls. (like Mighty Blow)

My theory was... most of the hits against my Troll are from other big guys, so since they have mighty blow, that makes my centre too easy to remove.

That wasn't enough reason to sack a personal Fav though... What clinched it was that I needed 15ish SPPs to have a try at getting Block, If I get a rookie a get two tries at a doubles roll for 15 SPPs and No Niggle...

I agonised over it but after some thought, Mr. Pinata Head was sacked and my New Troll (Swamp Donkey) was added to the roster.

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Post by JaM »

Maybe you should have kept him as a "diversion" for the opponent's hard hitters...

But I hope the new troll will fare a bit better than the old. You didnt make him assistent coach...?? :D

Good luck !

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Last Game of the Early Season

For those that don't know, we split our season into two 8 week halves. Each team gets to play a maximum 8 games in each half with various restrictions. In between halves, The top team from each division and one Wildcard get invited into a special '4 Way' Dungeonbowl match (the RotGut Invitational). All other teams are invited to play an exhibition match. The exhibition match doesn't count against league standing but the SPPs, Injuries and winning etc all do. It also begs to mention that all the exhibition players must meet at our league night and the opponents are determined randomly.

The Goons Locked themselves into a RotGut placement after their last game. Even if I lost my 8th game, I'd at worst have enough league points to get the Wildcard slot. Smashing the Thunderhawks turned out to be doubly satisfying!

My original intention for game 8 was to play the last opponent in Division A who I haven't managed to play against, The Grave Robbers. The Robbers had arranged a splattering of games against the lower division teams however so I agreed to play the Asgard Raiders (Norse) again. As Fate would have it however, the Seven Deadly Sins (Chaos team) were looking less and less likely to get all 8 of their games. The Raiders coach and I agreed to pass on our match and instead, both play the Sins and get them another two games. Arrangements were made and broken but the Goons and Sinners squared off last night regardless.

Morale Shattering Match!

The Goons were ahead by 430 in TV. The Sinners had a lot of luck with Borak last match, but decided to have a crack at the Chainsaw! Max Spleenriper, a Bribe, an Apo and 2 x BB Babes later and we were ready to kick off. The Goons elected to receive and a bad kick scattered the ball out. Our rookie troll Swamp Donkey took the touchback but was sorely out of position. The Goons tried to force their way through the guts and for a couple of turns there it looked pretty sweet! The Saw was K/Oed & the Lads had widened the man advantage with an early casualty against a Chaos warrior... all text book!

Some poor knockdown dice however had 'The Donk' in a spot of bother and he was knocked down and off the ball without much trouble by the Sin Warriors. Despite this, the Goons had securely taken the field away from the Sinners and there was little they could do with the loose ball. The Donk started to go a little stupid and that really pissed off the Sinners minotaur. With both big guys on their back and out of the action, the more dependable players started to show their stuff.

A nice Blocking effort freed up the ball for a quick pass to the Goons Goblin who GFIed twice to stand just on the other side of the end zone... Then a dodging, double GFI Blitz by a Beastman came down on the Gob scoring a pushback. I contemplated Side Stepping so I wouldn't go into the end zone and lay in a little more kicking... but the Sinners RRd and smashed me into the K/O bin. Now everyone was GFIing all over the place to get into key positions or cover those that made it. A blitz or two later and the Goons were ahead.

The Sinners has three turns to tie it up but the Goons stoned them in the middle. In the second half the Goons did their best to dismantle the Sinners and it was starting to show. The Beastmen were afraid to advance the ball too close and the Goons painfully hammered anyone that came into their half, including K/Oing the Saw again.

As the advantage became agonisingly clear, the lads set about getting the ball back. a TD was eminent but with the game already in the bag we decided to try to get our new Rookie troll some glory. After covering the imminent dropped pass, the lads launched it and were toatally suprised to see it land in The Donk's gaping mouth. In the last turn the Goons kicked the behemoth in the rump and he GFIed to a TD in his first Blood Bowl match!

The Sinners did a Good job for a rookie BB Coach in a very tough match. That Saw was a bad choice in hindsight as my ST5 BoB made short work of him. Borak would have been a much better choice and was painful in our last match up. Hindsight is a cruel thing isn't it, if it had paid off, he'd look at the previous match and say "Borak is a chump!". His ST6 Minotaur was a right pain again... but my boys had the luck with the injury dice and that forced the Sinners into a load of 1 dice hits. It chewed through his RRs and is never a fun place to be.

~

Now The Goons have a few milestones to celebrate...

They scored their 50th TD last game
They Inflicted their 100th casualty the game before
They finished the early season with a perfect record (8-0-0)
- Only one other team had a perfect open (Wood elves last season)
Biff Shatterjaws is now the Leagues best killing machine with 9 fatal hits delivered
- The previous record holder took player 3 seasons to rack up 8, Biff beat him in less than 1.5
The Goons beat their previous win streak of 6
- The league record is 12 and the Goons are keen to shatter that too!

Now we have the Dungeon match in about a fortnights time. A win there would give the Goons their first Championship, and a 'Chaos Cup style' skill for the TD scorer. It's needless to say that Hopes are High!

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Post by Gropah »

Go Goons! Go Donk! :lol:

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Post by Mephisto »

Go Goons! Goooooo!!!!

Let's hope that Biff scores the winning TD and gets Regeneration!!! :D

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Post by bouf »

RotGut Invitational IV
Four Way Dungeon Bowl match with
The Rocky Mountain Goon Squad (orcs) opposite The Thunderhawks (Pro Elf)
&
The Glenlivet Gladiators (Dwarf) opposite the Cursed Companions of the Carnivale (Chaos)
~


The Whole Charade started with the CCC cursing the Goon Squad Blitzer, Biff Shatterjaws, with a curse of petty spite and the Glenlivet Gladiators sending a Halfling chef into the Thunderhawks Dugout. The Hawks were singularly focused however and the chef's efforts were wasted. CCC started the match by teleporting in the Chaos Warrior Pin Head who promptly ran over to the first chest he could find and produced the Ball... The other three teams cried foul but it was all for naught, The ref's either didn't hear or didn't care. The Other teams all ported in a player but when it came around to CC they ported Monkeybrains in right in front of the Gladiators End zone. This was starting to look like a short match...

Well the Glads wouldn't have that and the Blocker Charles Victor Smith ran up and spear tackled the beastman hard. When he didn't get up the helpful wizards got him out of there before there could be any more damage. With Touchdown Hopes smashed into the Injury Bin the CCC would have to get in the hard way. Meanwhile every team scrambled into the Glads quadrant in order to stretch the game out. It was then that the Famed Orc Blitzer, Biff Shatterjaws, decided that it was time to get into the game. With an assist from Dr. Maddvibe, Biff blitzed the Hawks Lineman Steve Butabi so hard than his massive fists quite simply shattered the lineman's sternum into a paste. His screams of agony echoed around the dungeon and every coach looked at the blitzer and shuddered a little. Not satisfied, Biff then blitzed down the Thunderhawks Catcher - and team founder - Jackie Moon with a hit so bone jarring that the catcher's back looked more like a question mark than a spine... The Wizards removed him before he could be finished off. The Glads were not happy about being beaten on the casualty board and wanted to get a little fear moving in the other direction...

One of their runners, now satisfied that they had stymied the CCC offence, fouled one of the downed Warriors, (Pinhead) into the injury bin. The kicking was deemed a little too vigorous however and the Dwarf was ejected from the match. A Goons Blitzer - Brick Mannor - responded by breaking the jaw of the CCC Beastman Trashcan. While all this carnage was taking Place, The Goons Snotling Sensation, "The Incredible Bulk" tied up no less than 6 Thinderhawks players (Both Blitzers, a Catcher and three linemen) Resisting Blocks, and Crowding their Teleport Pad. He eventually succumbed to the Mass beating, and was teleported out of danger only to be replaced by the Squaddie Goblin, Beefcake the Mighty. As the elves all held hands and danced in a circle, Beefcake tried to sneak away unnoticed, but he fell awkwardly upon The Bulk's helmet and cracked a rib...

CCC were in dire straights as the four teams started to meet in the middle... The Dwarves and Orcs were proving to be to mighty for them to handle, and their numbers dwindled. Every Beastman that teleported on was summarily beaten by the crowd. The Ball was trapped in the Glads quadrant and it looked as though the CCC wouldn't survive the match. The Glads runner David Leroy Smith attempted to get the ball moving behind the Tide of his team, but was lost to the warp, and everyone standing near a pad could hear his cries of anguish!

"Nurgle wants me to cut his toenails... with my Teeth???"

In the confusion, The Bulk teleported back to the crowd of dancing elves and he was trampled painfully under foot. The Goons Lineman, Andy Pipkin got a little revenge in the centre by fouling out the Hawks lineman Carl Naughton Jr. While he did that, the CCC Beastman - the Tickler - ducked and wove into the Glads Quadrant yet again (despite some vert tight coverage) and the stretched defenders looked as though they wouldn't be able to contain him. Brick Manor blitzed his way into the scrum and Badly hurt the Glads Blitzer Jesse Adam Smith, while the other Dwarves and elves surrounded the Beastman. Some Rude and cruel heckling by the Goons Crowd some how reached the ears of the Tickler and his confidence waned as the blitzes and blocks rained in. A loose ball scattered behind the attention of Brick Manor in a tight corridor.

It was here that The Goons looked very good. All the Stand Firm and Strength that the team amassed in the previous seasons made them look as though they were groomed for the dungeon. Some of the Goon defenders left their Quadrant in order to apply additional pressure, as the others set up a near indestructible cage. Although the forward momentum was stalled, they could not be bested in the tight corridor. Biff blitzed his way closer to the fight and Seriously Injured the Thunderhawks Lineman, Brick Tamland. The Hawks coach could be heard crying foul at teh mistreatment that his team was taking at the hands of the Goons and Biff especially.

CCC tried to get back into the game but the Pads were set against him... Where earlier in the match the Pads were delivering the Beastmen into terrible fights, now they were delivering them to the warp! The Hawks Lent as much force as they could to prevent the Goons from reaching their end zone but it was Sparticus that Stopped them. With a Cry of "From Bosnia with Love" one of the Dwarves lobbed a landmine into the crowd of orcs knocking down 4 of them.

The Goons Lineman Muff Mirken, nearly decapitated the Glads Blocker Charles Victor Smith (-ST) and without an Apothecary he would have been Seriously Crippled. Proper scrum started over the ball and it was the CCC again to got it free... A failed dodge scattered it lose again and it was on the ground for all to see.

Right then, The Hawks scooped up the ball and the Famed Thrower, Ron Burgundy, Entered the Dungeon exactly in the right place. He set up a series of Passes and hand offs that had Marshal Willenholly sprinting towards the Two Black Orc Blockers defending the Goons End zone. The centre of the dungeon degenerated into a massive fight withe the Gladiators happy to see anyone else win than the Carnies. The Glads bogged down anyone who could help stop the elves, (including crippling the Chaos Warrior "Claw Boy") and he watched it all play out in front of him. A Thunder hawk player was swallowed bu the warp and two others teleported right where they needed to go.

With increasing pressure the Goods shone in their defence. The Hawks tried desperately to squeeze between the BoBs but just couldn't make it. Biff tries in vain to pick up the lose ball and called out for as much help as he could get... it was right then that luck abandoned the Goons who had done so well up to now. The Rookie troll forgot what to do and two blitzers were swallowed by the same teleport pad as they raced to help.

All wasn't lost however... The three Goons, under incredible pressure from 5 Thunderhawk positionals, managed to collect the ball. Although they had to leave the end zone and it's defence behind, they started a come back. A block elsewhere on the field teleported a rookie Chaos Warrior - Vincent Vivisection - into the Quadrant, and rather than help prevent a Hawks win, he blitzed down poor Biff and made everything all the more difficult.

The Hawks were now primed to score. Any misstep would lead them to a TD. It was the Goons time to shine. Biff (my Boy) escaped some coverage, scooped up the lose ball, & ran to a teleport pad determined to pass the ball to any available target. As luck would have it, he ended not in the Hawks quadrant, but close... After going for it, he lobbed the ball towards the waiting arms of Busta Rektum. Busta was right close to the Hawks endzone, standing over a downed Mustafa. He had the support both Goon Linemen close at hand as well...

The Gladiators had a Wizard waiting in the wings, but Busta had just learned to utilize his full movement even when downed... Unless the wizard stunned him, he would surely still score with the arcs of lighting still crossing his armour!

That was until the Hawks blitzer, Ricky Jimmy, intercepted the pass! He leaped over the fight in the middle of the pitch to stand next to the drooling and useless troll, Swamp Donkey and passed to Ron Burgundy. Ron then moved forward and (after bribing a ref with inducement money to allow a 2nd pass action) passed to the waiting arms of Marshal Willenholly who ran it in.

< 24 turns of DB excitement - That's 24 turns x 4 teams >
< A total of 13 casualties (7 by the Goons!) >
< 3 permanent injuries 2 x elf, 1 x chaos >
< Best league game ever!!! Even though I lost... >

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Post by Gropah »

You wuz' robbed!
Thought the Goons had it, for sure... Terrific write up!

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Post by bouf »

Half way through and where do we stand?

Well, the Dungeon match is over, and although an awesome match... It ended poorly for the Goons. Everything was going well, but the other two teams failed to focus any attention on the elves. If they had, or allowed me to get the ball out of my quadrant, we may have had a win.

But oh well, Perspective is everything. I had a fun match and I've met two of my goals from the start of the season...

1) Play in the DB match
2) Win the Rising Star award.

The remainder of my goals all focus on the end of season... namely

3) Win a trophy (now I need to place 1st through 3rd to get that)
4) Get two players with a medal (No way I accomplish this one!)
5) Finish the regular season in the top 4 (At the moment I'm the #1 team and also winning my Division)
6) Advance to the semi finals (win three finals games in a row... Win the fourth and I'm the BABBL champ!)

The word around the league is that my team is 'just about' in the position to win the finals, but the coach is lacking... Time will tell. In the first and third season finals (with Amazons and the Goons respectively), I had simply abysmal dice and it cost me dearly. Each time I was eliminated in the first round. In the second season I was eliminated in the 2nd round but I was up against a really tough opponent that I had no confidence I could beat... I killed many of his players though (the most inflicted by a single team in the league) so there was some vindication.

This season, the Goons have a strong team but have some tough matches in the lead up. Round one we play the Grave Robbers and then round two We gat a revenge shot at the Thunderhawks! (Unless they're Scared!) A loss there will be devastating to morale, but I want revenge! After that it's going to be the Uncle Crusty's Circus (sob... I don't wanna!) and they could devastate my team. That's two very tense and hard games in a row!

In the last half I want to play CCC. I place the blame of my DB loss squarely with Coach Para. He knew what was at stake... He knew how many elves there were there... and he still decided to Blitz Biff??? Surely he knew that it would lead to a Hawks win? I'll get him if it's the last thing that I do! If I can win the divisional championship (Not really likely) I fully intend to pick CCC for my first finals round if I can. (if he also wins his division I won't be able to pick him...)

Plans for the late season... Get some more guard, which means getting some skills for my BoBs or Brick. I'm going to have to play the BoBs on the Ball, which isn't easy... If only I'd get an MVP on a BoB. It'd make my life so much easier! I'd like to get my Troll some skills too.

In order to pull all this off I'm going to have to play a lot more aggressively than I usually do. I'm going to pick a player to skill up and take some big risks with him. The other 10 players will play Mega Defence and protect the Ball from landmines!

Here is my team at the season half for those not interested in visiting BABBL.

Troll (Line): N/A
Bork (Line) 1: Block, Stand Firm, +ST,
Bork (Line) 2: Block,
Bork (Wing) 1: Block, Stand Firm,
Bork (Wing) 2: Block, Stand Firm,
Blitzer (Wing) 1: Tackle, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow, Guard,
Blitzer (Wing) 2: Tackle, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow, +ST,
Blitzer (Safety): Tackle, +MA, Mighty Blow, +AG, Jump Up,
Blitzer (Basher): Mighty Blow, Pile On, Jump Up, Tackle, Juggernaught, Fan Favourite,
Linemen (Linebacker): Wrestle, Tackle,
Linemen (“Dirty” Linebacker): N/A
Thrower 1 (Distance): Kick-Off Return, Block, Accurate,
Thrower 2 (Defence): Wrestle,
Goblin: Side Step,

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Post by TeflonDon »

This is excellent reading, I hope you'll keep it up:-)

Looking at your team I wonder why you don't have a kicker? I like having one in any team, even if they are greater value in other teams than orcs.

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Post by bouf »

Two's Up!

I've been remiss about getting this stiff up to date lately. My new job is actually busy (First time in years) so I don't have as much Blog Time. Any ways, my apologies... back at it!

"I saw your mummy and your mummy's dead"
~ Suicidal Tendencies (edited by Swamp Donkey)

First up after the Dungeon was the Undead Grave Robbers, I was going in with a Full squad, the Goons Armour was still a bit smelly from all the bloodshed in the Dungeon... The Robbers never stood a chance!

They took a babe, and a 400K card, a 100K and a 50K in inducements... I took two 50s.

The game started with the Goons receiving and setting up a nice little offensive line. The Idea being that the Robbers have a reputation of trying to win the fight at all costs. They have set up against some opponents with all 11 players on the LoS... When Receiving the kick! Coach Toronian doesn't let a Blood Bowl game get in the way of a good scrap. His two mummies are a menace and have seen many a league member under their thumb. That was then.... Now, The Goons were going to show him how it's done!

Well, It wasn't turn 3 before I Killed off the lesser of his two Mummies. Tragically, his other Mummy claimed revenge by killing the killer. My Poor Troll, he gets a Kill under his belt... His first casualty and what happens? Well, I couldn't have that! I used my apothecary and Swamp Donkey came good. However, I no longer could afford to suffer a casualty. Early on I lost my insurance....

The Goons ensured that the robbers were in no position to do so... They set upon the Robbers like a rabid bear. I had the ball and control of the game so I was comfortable to let the boot in. Now I was determined to kill off the other Mummy along with everyone else I could get my hands on. I scored at the half, but before that Ol' Biff racked up a BH on the bigger of the two mummies only to see him regenerate. If fact everyone besides the first mummy regenerated! (how frustrating!)

So I set up to kick and the Robbers had their only chance to tie it up... In fact it was their only chance to place a foot in the Goons half. They played their best but a Ghoul on his own against the Goons defence wasn't going to get far. Busta Blitzed him and broke his elbow. It was the only player to get on the Goons side all game, and he payed for it.

Well now the Goons had the ball and what looked to be the win, so they did what any Hard Fighter would do... Gave the Ball to a MA3 Black Orc (Ricky WallopNutz) and let him trundle up the pitch... ever so slowly. In the mean time the Lads set about smashing the Robbers to dust. Biff managed another two casualties and barely threw a blitz all night... I spent the majority of my time blitzing with the other guys in an attempt to up their SPPs.

And WallopNutz made his way up the pitch... The Robbers tried desperately to recover. Each turn just about the whole team would start prone. Even a crowd pushing Blitz was formed, only to be foiled by my gargantuan amount of Stand Firm.

And WallopNutz made his way up the pitch... The Robbers played their 400K card and Mind blew the Goons. They had free reign to move about and block without negative assists, so they ran as many guys as they could over to WallopNutz and completely land locked him on T15. I tried to get some bodies over there to free him up but it was too late. I lost the TD, but won the game and the fight.

All in all, a great game for the Goons (if a little easy - Getting my Troll killed in T5 was a bit of a confidence breaker though) WallopNutz grabbed the MVP (obviously for his sterling snail impression) and skilled up as a result. All my money was gone on Spiraling expenses.

~//~ ~//~

Next up was a revenge match against the Thunderhawks. They are the only team with any chance of knocking me out of Division lead... I mean a string of bad games or deaths could change my tune, but the way things are going, if I can stay ahead of them, I'll come away with DivA. They also Scored against me in the Dungeon and killed my hopes of beating GD&R's win streak. Now I have to win the BABBL Bowl to even tie it! That's a bit of an ask for a coach who's failed to even make the semis in 3 seasons!

The Goon Squad also has a bit of a rivalry with the Hawks in a few other, more personal respects... The Hawks Thrower Ron Burgundy is likely to join Biff Shatterjaws as the first Hall of Fame inductees. The Only Loss either team has suffered have been at each others hands. Then there is the taunting... Behind the scenes the Thunderhawks coach takes pot shots at me and my players... The Chump

Ka-Pow Biatch!

The Goons kicked first and tried to force a turn over. A Blitz effort got a TZ on the Ball and on a few Catchers, but the Hawks new Hypno Gaze player was put to good use and he freed up the players he needed to get the pass away. The Goons rolled an intercept and I was pumping my fist accordingly, right up to the Safe throw roll.

So the Hawks were away with a 1-0 lead. Oh well, the boys had already driven down their numbers and it was only T3 (there was a Riot off the opening kick off) The Goons set up their usual smashing offensive wall and started to sweep the hawks away. Each turn it seemed there was a Hawk removed from the pitch... It was like I could roll a 10 on 1d6. Bam = Gone. Whammy = dead. Bling =K/O... I accused his team of taking a dive! Maybe they had some money riding on the game...? Some Gangland Godfather wanted the Goons to win and had all their children hostage???

I walked in a T8 TD and the 2nd started. My thrower managed to fail a pick up two turns in a row, and it was quickly capitalised on and I was right where I didn't want to be! Behind 1-2 at the half! Now I had to play catch up and THEN get my Game winner. Well the already blood thirsty Goons kicked it into over drive and completely owned the Hawks for the next drive. I scored in T13 and had 3 turns to get my winning point... Problem being that I was kicking to him and out of Re-Rolls!

Lucky for me we rolled another Riot and I snagged another turn. Unlucky for me there was no one in his K/O bin. Every Knocked out player was back on the pitch... of course his D&I bin was a little crowded with 10 players crammed in it. So it was my 11 guys against his 4. The Ball stayed mercifully close to the LoS and he ran in to try to collect. Firstly I ran some blitzers into TD range, then I smashed him down but missed the Ball Carrier!

He tried to keep his advantage by throwing a long Bomb into my back field, confident that I'd never make up that distance! He was too crowded though and he fumbled the pass. I shifted the direction of the play and gave the Ball to my ST4 Blitzer. I had to take my time and run the clock out a little or risk him getting a lucky tie point at the end. The elves managed to get a blitz on Brick though and collected the ball again in his T15. It was getting desperate and I only just managed to get the Ball off him in T16, then I had to pick it up, (2+) GFI to hand off to Biff (2+) and catch the ball (3+) and I was the winner.

In his Injury time I rolled a blitz and knocked out a lineman. I also threw the Goblin and grabbed the Ball in an attempt to deny him a Completion. It didn't work but hey... worth the shot!

A lot of the win credit goes to his dice... If he re-rolled a block (even with 2 dice) he would skull out! I loved it! Biff managed another Hat-Trick of casualties... That's one Hat-Trick in each of his last three games. A Hat-Trick of Hat-Tricks... Biff has got to be the Trickiest Hat of all Time!

~//~ ~//~

Now I play the BABBL Cheese grater next week. The Claw riddled Uncle Crusty's Circus.

I suspect that I'll get shaved and glazed in honey by the little Chaos Dwarves... and probably fed to the pigs.

I'm due some comeuppance!

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TeflonDon
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Post by TeflonDon »

That Chaos Dwarf team is just sick - I'd absolutely hate pitching any of my teams against them.

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Post by voyagers_uk »

I have played against similar, luckily I only went down 3 players for good. Although my Pro Elves won 3-0 I was down to 5 players at full time with a squad of 15.

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Post by Mephisto »

TeflonDon wrote:That Chaos Dwarf team is just sick - I'd absolutely hate pitching any of my teams against them.
Yep. Luckily I think your team has big options against it. But you should first hit hard and see that some of your players could go down. So reserve your apo for biff and the other star blitzers.

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Post by Skarsnikk »

My God! I just checked out your league website and I feel for your pain! 10 casualties against will hurt anybody :(

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For now I shall be a proud and mentally impaired player who apparently shares the same intelligence level of that of a chimp. Now if you would excuse me I have pressing matters to attend to, I have found a stick and I am going to poke a banana.
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