For German coaches who like trashy-BB fiction!

narkotic · Post by **narkotic** » Fri May 30, 2003 4:14 pm

That's possible, of course, but much of the fun comes from it's stupid, tabloid style writing. I'm not sure if I'm able to capture this feeling in English.

Apart from that the whole Blut-Magazine (means "Blood" but is a spoof of Bild = "Picture" the top annoying and best selling tabloid in Germany) has developed into a form of League-coverage. After some time I was tired writing the match-reports for my league team (Rusty Razor Rats) and switched to this spoof magazine format. Some time later the commissioner announced this being the league news-coverage bc all other coaches were too lazy to write something of their own, and asked me to include/mention some of the other matches that have been played. That's it.

Actually it's composition is mostly repeating (we were talking of tabloids, right?): Main Headline is the match I played, making up silly names of the oppononent's so far nameless players, some silly background info why and what happened during the match (so in the last match I refused to use my apo for a killed linerat bc. I spare him for my two AG5 Gutter-Runners, in the article it says that the apo couldn't help the victim bc the gutter runner siiting in the dug out forced him to do pedicure). Throw in some silly pictures for mocking the opponents, too: Planet of the apes Aldo for Black Orcs, Guys from (the Rock-Band) Europe and Kiss for Elfs/Dark Elfs, Goats for Beastmen or Cpt. Hook for a Mutated Chaos Warrior etc. Then there are 2-3 fake private ads, usualy having to do with something happened during the match - or when I want to make a hidden conotation of some other trash, like mentioning the Boundless Blaculas = Blacula: 70s Blaxploiatation spoof with a black and funky vampire etc. (for example in the lates issue there is an add that says "Selling handbook 'Passing Game 1-2-3', in Orcish and largely unread. Chiffre: Da Ball" This is bc. my last opponent's Orcish thrower has fumbled three passes in the match). Then there is usually the Column "Behind the Scenes" unraveling BB backgrounds, purely fictional and open to abuse. The latest issue has a photo of Klaus Kinski (taken from 'Aguirre - Wrath of God') holding a small monkey, promising a covergae of Norse Blitzer Klaus Kinderquäler (Child-tormentor) sparing with Snotlings.The rest are articles mocking the other league teams with nonsense which came into my mind, mentioning the latest scores of their macthes.

I've written some stuff in English as well, it's in the fan fiction section of the NAF website, but it has been edited to sound genuine English, so I'm reluctant to write in "nonsense" English, as it will lose a lot.

If I have enough time, I could do an anniversary edition of BLUT in English?

BlanchPrez · Post by **BlanchPrez** » Fri May 30, 2003 5:45 pm

I personally LOVE this idea! I've been using a little two-page newsletter format for my league newsletter, called Sports Decapitated. I would love to know where you got the template for your tabloid look, though, it's great!

Chris

narkotic · Post by **narkotic** » Fri May 30, 2003 5:52 pm

I done it myself with powerpoint. If you like I can mail you one copy in .ppt (powerpoint) format, so you can use it as a blueprint and easily adapt it to your needs by exchanging the contents. Powerpoint is much more comvenient to handle than anything else by Microsoft.

narkotic · Post by **narkotic** » Fri May 30, 2003 5:59 pm

Hey wait BlanchPrez, haven't you been the only one kind enough to give me some feedback about my fan-fiction at www.thenaf.net? (371 reads though) I recall that name

BlanchPrez · Post by **BlanchPrez** » Fri May 30, 2003 6:06 pm

narkotic wrote:Hey wait BlanchPrez, haven't you been the only one kind enough to give me some feedback about my fan-fiction at www.thenaf.net? (371 reads though) I recall that name

Yes, that was me. I liked the stuff, and was interested in using it (or ideas from it) in my newsletter. I have a "Did you Know" section of my newsletter, and that stuff you wrote was the kind of things I was looking for.

And, yes, I would love to have the template. I'll PM you my e-mail address.

Chris

Darkson · Post by **Darkson** » Fri May 30, 2003 7:30 pm

Narkotic, I'll pm you as well (I've got to learn Powerpoint at some stage I suppose). Our league's newsletter was done in word, and frankly looked crap (and I did it

).

BlanchPrez · Post by **BlanchPrez** » Fri May 30, 2003 7:48 pm

Yeah, mine is being done in Word too, with a newsletter template. It was cool at first, but it's getting boring.

Chris

narkotic · Post by **narkotic** » Thu Jun 19, 2003 6:25 pm

the newest issue of "Blut" is on-line:

http://people.freenet.de/optokoax/Blut_9.pdf

traveller · Post by **traveller** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 10:26 pm

supergoil, narcotic.

I will print the pages tomorrow at work..., i want these ones in my collection, printed in color.

Powerpoint... i have to check, if i got this programm somewhere on my PC. At work we mostly using QurkXpress for layout stuff. Can you please send me the template, too ?
So i will use it maybe for my game reports, too. Including some of my game picts it should be fun for posting later.

BTW... the orcblocker is on the road to Berlin

Traveller

lawquoter · Post by **lawquoter** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 11:15 pm

Awesome stuff!

My German's gone to hell (although I could understand "Who the f@ck is Jagger Vim" very clearly!

), but I was able to pick through some of it to get the general gist of the magazine! Well done.

harley_topper · Post by **harley_topper** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 11:29 pm

Good stuff....I'll suggest to do something similar to "BLUT" in our league too. We only have a few people who wright some short match reports and we do it in word.

narkotic · Post by **narkotic** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 11:29 am

Thanks to all!
what began as a one-shot alternative to text-only match report, developed into a whole league coverage mayhem... Oh, dear

I just don't know why the PDF-writer makes the jpgs look crap (being the same size, on powerpoint they look good)

@Traveller: I sent you the template

narkotic · Post by **narkotic** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 2:54 pm

Tha latest issue of "Blut" is online. Probably the last issue, making one takes too much creative energy (and the season is finished as well).
Click your way through the SiCCLe-Homepage (see link in my signature) or use this direct link:
http://people.freenet.de/optokoax/Blut_10.pdf

Glorian Underhill · Post by **Glorian Underhill** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 6:21 am

Geile Sache.....

Is there a powerpoint main page ?

Something with the Logo in it and plenty of room.
Maybe there can be regional "Bluts" like in real.

If there is a main page may i have it ?

my mail adress is: schulz-florian@web.de

narkotic · Post by **narkotic** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:37 am

I have updated all previous and the latest issue of BLUT with versions that display uncompressed pictures/photos (the links remain the same). Now the size of each issue has grown to 300-400KB but the picture quality has increased significally. The fuzzy and blurred picture compression in the older Blut-pdf-documents have always been a point of concern to me.