Talk Fantasy Football

...What to say about them? Not much really. But not long ago, about a year, I think, rumours came to me, of a group of lizards, leaving the big jungle of Lustria and heading to the city of Nottingsburg. I didn’t give much credit to this. But some days later, the news where getting forms. Nobody did expect that they could play as they did. They became second, losing the final against a very experienced team of Orcs. The Klub Challenge was the first tournament so far I know.
I was really surprised about this, but I thought that it was only a “one day team” with lots of luck, and ignored them
Time passed and I moved to Nottingsburg to see the BloodBowl 2503. Hundreds of teams coming from all the parts of the world. Seeing the Flatliners getting the glory… what a moment. Now, after some time, I know that they were also there, finishing the 79th. They said that the went down just because all the New and Old World Stars, such as Mr. Oberwald or Count Luthor.
Summer came and the tournaments also did. I was invited to one in Amersfort (North of Bretonia, in a county called Holyland) Not many team did make this, but the group of lizards where there. Amazingly they reduced to nothing the national champions, a great team of veteran Skavens. Great skills made them became 3rd, and they got also the Most Casualties Award. I needed more, so secretly follow them to the next tournament around the world.
The Camburg Carnage was the chosen one by them, with some of the best teams of the region, and many of overseas they managed to get the 6th and Most Sportive. That was enough for me, they had something special in their game, something that “hooked” you. They worked as a team, nobody was better or worst than the others. No words between them only a look was enough for them to understand.
The Master Bowl is one of the “peaks” of my secret trip with them. They where totally superior to the rest of the teams, including the Flatliners (Current BB Champion), the Wind Riders (Chaos Cup winners) or the Karag Drom Lightnings (Barnaburg Champions) and they were crowned Champions of Valencity.
The United World Competition (also known as the Eurobowl held in Holyland) and the Madburg Tournament came after getting always in the 20 first positions.
But after this, they went back to the Jungle, back to Lustria, were I lost their track. I spend months behind them and nothing. I tried to go to some of the events like the Dungeon Bowl, Lonthor (ECBBL) and Zaraghozak, but they didn’t show up.
I know for sure that they are going to be at this year of the XLIII BB Championship and I will be there waiting for them, to follow them, to be one of them.
But my Friend, you that have still time, don’t look to their Eyes, those Eyes, those incredible Red Eyes… I can’t take them from my mind…


Last extract of the Diary of a BloodBowl Fan

In time long ago, the world was pre-occupied with drinking competitions. Massive structures were built to house these contests. At the height of their popularity, 200,000 fans would turn up to stay and watch for a whole week as two rival teams drank themselves to a stupor. As the teams’ resistance to alcohol increased, so the challenges carried on and on. Of course, the fans were also imbibing, however, such was the power of the contestants, the fans were inevitably asleep long before the contest was over.

This ultimately led to the demise of the drinking games since no one knew who had won, least of all the officials who were often reduced to bloody pulp as fights broke out to jump the queue to the spartan toilet.

As interest in the games waned, one team decided that they would change the ultimate goal. Whilst winning was decided by who drank the most, The Drinking Barons decided that if they killed off their opposition, there would be more beer for them. Of course, since everyone who attended these competitions was comatose, the fact that the Barons were disposing of their opposition eluded everyone.

As time went by, the Barons killed off every other team. Nonetheless the massive amounts of alcohol they consumed meant that they didn’t remember what had happened. For a while this was fine as they arrived at the games but faced no opposition – this was great since they had all the beer to themselves. The crowds though became thoroughly bored by the lack of competition. Thus it came to be that Horus the Inevitable was the only spectator at the final drinking competition. Horus was a massive figure; some said he was part Ogre but not to his face. Horus convinced the Barons that they were missing the carnage of the fight and offered booze aplenty too. The Barons wondered where blood was to be found – Horus knew - and the Barons joined the fledgling Bloodbowl League.

The Barons built up a massive fan base. Not because they played Bloodbowl well. In fact they were probably the worst team that ever competed – they simply couldn’t remember that the object was to score touchdowns with the ball in hand. They lost most games to scores of 10-0 or worse. However, despite winning, the opposing team disbanded as the Barons killed and maimed every player. Since the players couldn’t remember the object of the game, The Drinking Barons became known as The Drinking Barons of Dementia.

The fans flocked to see every game. Over time the cash rolled in. This made funds available and a number of thugs joined the team who could actually play Bloodbowl. Whilst the team has never won any competitions, today they are a team feared by all. They have topped the casualty charts for years and have even managed to rack up a few touchdowns. Drinking the pubs dry after the game is still compulsory of course. That said a few respected judges have stated that if the current Barons team could concentrate on the ball for at least a half they may actually have a chance of competing at the top level. Is this possible?

MAPELHEIM MAULERS - PRESS RELEASE

Stadium: The Fur Kennel, just off the main sewer chamber, Mapelheim. (Capacity: 32,000. Surface: Excremental Paving)
Head Coach: Tarka ‘The Rotter’ Minkfinger
Owner: Fubu LaCapra
Main Sponsor: Rat Ball - Energy Drink
Secondary sponsor: The Excremental Paving Co. Shitting bricks since 2473™.
Symbol: Rat heads and Balls
Colours: Green and off-White

Mapelheim, the Venice of the North, home to the renowned Bloodington’s Beer, and celebrated for its tree-sap honey substitute, has a new claim to fame – The Mapelheim Maulers! This season the Ratboys are coming up from the sewers to stake their claim on the biggest prize of them all – THE BLOOD BOWL... You’d better be ready to get some hair stuck between your teeth… because you’re going down. Hard.

Originally known as The Mapelheim Mausmen, the Maulers changed their name in 2503 at the request of their new sponsor, Rat Ball Energy Drink whose owner, Terry Bullmixer, famously said, ‘We’re not sponsoring a team of Mausmen. You sound like a bunch of pussies…’ And so the Maulers were born.

A major cash injection from their first ever corporate sponsor led to the appointment of a new head coach, Tarka Minkfinger, and shortly after that the team was joined by the renowned storm vermin, Randy Pineweasel who promptly poached fellow hard-rat Bark Nookle from the local Sevens team The Sewer Gyrators. Under Pineweasel’s less than tender ministrations the team has gone from strength, to less strength, to strength… And now they’re ready for the game of their lives… The Blood Bowl.

Sponsor Bullmixer, had this to say, ‘They’re good, very good… With Vodka or without…. Oh – the team, well yes they should do ok.’

If you have any questions about the Mapelheim Maulers please contact their press agency, MAPELHEIM FLUFFERS INC. ‘We’ll big you up…’

Leipziger wrote:...beaten in all 6 games?

Cheers

Leip