The Mootland Beasts

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Alu-Cinator »

Afroman, bravo pour ta victoire !

:?: :orc:

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

In the head of Entre Coat

There are eight teams playing in the Dungeon of Doom tournament. Of those eight teams, two are dwarves. It turns out that the only Halfling team is playing against both. Those runt little and hairy fellows seem to know how to take down a fling in movement. Worst match up possible.
The third and last game of the tournament is against a dwarf-team by the name of Everpeak BBC. They did not fare well on the last game so it seems we will be playing against only eight players. Maybe we can win again….

They receive.
Standing behind Oaky I see the dwarves come out on by one. I count five blockers, sturdy looking guys that we need to avoid. Next is their lousy excuse for runners, let’s see if they can outrun me. And then nothing. Seven players, where is the eight…? A rumbling shakes the stadium while something big and noisy walks, no, rolls out in the field. They have a Deathroller. Shit. Pork Yells at the referee to see the damn thing off but somehow the ref is looking everywhere but at the damn thing. Seems we will have to avoid it unless Deeproot can handle it.
The ball is kicked and we manage to mount up a perfect defence. Deep kick and we wait for the blows to start landing. But they don’t come. What I see is the Deathroller trying to roll over Deeproot. For a moment it looks as if Deeproot is going to take the roller apart but then a guarding Dwarf trips Deep while he is concentrated on the roller allowing the roller to literally deathroll all over Deeproot. I’ve heard that starplayers have ways to come back from any injury, even death, but that won’t help us in this game. We lost Deeproot without even throwing a punch. I can see in the face of the other what I myself feel, despair. I see that in all of us….except in Leaf It. She looks furious! A runner picks up the ball and feeling lucky the pack of guarding blockers decide to jump on Leaf It. I immediately know that a bad idea. Leaf swings her branch and the dwarf gets to see his maker, at least until the apothecary saves him. This is enough to wake us up. We still have a numerous advantage and the strength. But Leaf doesn’t stop. Another swing and the deathroller is unabled to get up again. Pork takes his crew and blitz the dwarf nearest to him. And the rest of us runs to meet up with the ballcarrier. Despite losing their roller, the dwarves seem extremly focused. A blitz sends Walt to the dugout with an injury. Their runners team up and try to run past us. Me, Lenny and Bab intercept them and Bab makes the blitz since Pork was too far away. Bab is deftly smashed down and has to join Walt in the dugout. It seems this runner know how to hold his ground, and he is more than happy to verify this for us. Lenny is blocked down and I receive a blitz from the other runner. I managed to sidestep it. I only have to hold then until Pork arrives. The blockers seem to have realized they are needed elsewhere and two of them (to my great surprise) dodges from Oaky and Leaf to assist the runners. They get in the way so Pork can’t get a clean blitz, but Oaky can. Unfortunaly the blocker doesn’t even move. I alone can block the ball carrier but my chances a slim to say the least. Instead I dodge out and relocate. Next thing I know I’m lying down with Bab and Walt. My whole body hurts, although nothing seems to be broken. Now I have to see the rest of the game from the bench.

Second Half
Apparently nothing else happened after the I was injured so no TD scored either way. The dwarves were all on the field again. All except the deathroller, once it was broken, the ref dared to ban it from the game. Brave ref.
Our ball. Harley Ham get the ball and forms a cage. The trees up front start out good. Leaf it manages to remove another annoying dwarf an oaky stuns another. But the dwarves are good at standing firm and soon both Leaf and Oaky decide to take root. Only a few steps into their half our cage is halted and despite they only being six player we fail to move forward. It’s like the first half all over again.
Now the clock starts to run out and despite numerous attempts from both teams the ball is still in our possession but hasn’t moved one bit. Oaky tries a desperate throw before the ref ends the game but all the dwarves hanging around him makes sure he fumbles and the games ends scoreless to either side.

0-0(2-4)
Damn!

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Pug »

Unlucky Sir. A draw against Dwarves is a damned good showing . C'Mon the Flings!

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The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

In the Head of Entre Coat


We have the Dungeon Of Doom tournament fresh in memory still. The win, the loss and the draw. I see in the faces of the guys that they are happy. The morale is high. Maybe that's why nobody protested when Pork announced that he had signed the Beasts to the Blood Bowl Cup.
The mirth lasted until this morning, when we finally saw the contestant list. The closest team to us is chaos dwarves team under the name of Black Orange Brigade and yet, we didn't have any problem paying our chef, Deeproot and one of those Pointy hats guys with the inducement money.

Kick Off
They win the coin toss but we are ready. The smell of tender chicken soup lies thick on the field and the effect is plain on the other side of the field. The ball is kicked and a sure handed HobGobling takes the ball. Thanks to a perfect defence, our LoS stays intact. Pork & Co lines up a blitz against a lonesome dorf but he is merely pushed back and the trees don't do much either. The cage forms and it is impossible to avoid. The guys and I move just outside of their blocking reach. Find a blitz, the trees block and dodge out. That our tactic, but it's not working. Despite the trees having five dorfs marked, they still manage to blitz out a guy per blitz. While barely manage to stun them. Damned dorfs.
They advance slowly, but they don't have to hurry. Our numbers on the other hand are dwindling fast and we cant find a good blitz on the ball carrier. The Hobgobling waltzes in our EZ when he notices that Sams fouls are getting results. Adam and Bob will have to skip the rest of the game but the four guys in the knockout dugout are all eager to jump into the game again.

Second Half
Ok, the kick is good. For some reason Sam is the one carrying the ball. I though he only cared to kick fallen player, and loudly too. But he has the ball and tries to pass it to me. Should have known, he just wants to get rid of the ball. I see it coming, must go left, left, left but the ball gets tangled in Oakys branches. It's not optimal but seeing as two dorfs left the field after falling unconcious it could have been worse. The bulcentaurs circle around us, threatning us from behind. Theirs minotaur Blitzes Oaky making him fall. I grab the ball just as Deeproot stuns the mino. Leaf blitzes a hole for me to exploit and Pork and Harley Ham cover me when I advance with ball.
A quick count tells me we have lost two more guys. Oaky is up again but rooted, Deeproot is keeping a lot of players busy and Leaf is guarding my six. I try to advance but those damned Bullcentaurs are hovering just waiting to get a chance. And when Pork falls in a dodge, the chance presents itself. He is coming, Leaf tries to get in the way but she is too late. I feel the full force of the hit and the ball is sent flying.
Nothing is broken but I can barely breathe. I try to get up but I cant, I look for the ball and I see Harley Ham has it. No one is screening him, we can't wait anymore. Leaf takes Harley up and throws him over the advancing players, he makes a nice landing and with the Minotaur running after him, he runs into the EZ with the ball. 1-1. It's not over yet.

Last Drive
I can feel the agitation on the opposing team. They don't want to draw against us, so they are going to press us hard! The bullcentaurs spread on each side, the hobgoblings are ready to pick up the ball and the rest makes sure we stay outnumbered. It is going to be near impossible to stop them.
The whistle blow and the ball get send off the field. I see the triumphant snickers of the dorf when the bullcentaur take the ball. The bullcentaur wait for noone and runs fast and deep. The rest of the team seem to concentrate on making it hard for us to reach him. Even two dorfs tried to dodge away from Leaf. The first on managed to get away placing himself between me and the callcarrier. The other dorf that tried it died. Not even the apo seemed to be able to rectify that. We had one shot and one shot only. Leaf tries to throw me but drops me in place. Lenny tries to get through a dorf covered path in order to mark the bullcentaur but is tackled down almost immediately. This brings loud cheers from the spectators. The bullcentaur is free, holding the ball and within reach of the EZ. The lightningball that hit him in the chest changes that. the other Bullcentaur is now the only viable option. He runs to the ball and before he even tries to pick it up I know. The ball scatters and the ref blows the whistle. We managed to hold the draw. A good start of the cup.

1-1(1-5)

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

IN THE HEAD OF ENTRE COAT

Gorgoth Flames, twice winner of the Chaos Cup. They are our second opponent in the Blood Bowl Cup. They are a hideous bunch to look at, mutations and weird….talents.
But Pork came with a surprise this morning. And that surprise is now standing behind me. Almost as tall as DeepRoot, Morg N’Torg stands bored behind me waiting for the game to begin. Morg, Deep, Oaky and Leaf, that should count for something…
Morg was not the only thing Pork came with this morning. While everyone was trying to get Morg to sign their pots, he took me aside and gave me a magic glove, said to help me hold on to the ball. I was sceptic but as I tried it on I could feel… something. Well, see how well it works on the field.
Kick Off.
The fans are really on our side today, between their cheering and the chef, the morale of the guys is high. Some of the fans in the sidelines look a bit rowdy aswell, but seeing that most of them are flings… I wouldn’t be surprised if the Flames find the sidelines particularly dangerous today.
The ball soars to their half and the game begins. The three trees hold the center Despite the minotaurs efforts. Morg pushes a gobbling around with a blitz while the rest of us cover as much ground as possible. With the four titans in front I concentrate on following the ball. One of the hobgoblings has it and he is getting closer Morg. I see Morg get ready to stop him flat on his track but the other hob does something and….I can’t believe it. Morg is letting the ballcarrier and the Bullcentaurs pass by him as if he wasn’t there! Sam had said that two of the hobs had rare abilities that they gained as a price for winning the Chaos Cup. Now I see what he mean! With half their team past our first line of defense we have to change into a plan of attrition. Luckily they’re hitting too hard, unluckily neither are we.
Even with the four titans pounding from behind, none of the dwarves are getting hurt. The rest of us just try to be in the way but between the bullcentaurs and the hipnotic hobos, it’s like trying to stop water. 1-0.
Second Half
Sam gets the ball, all the titans except Leaf clear the LoS. I get the ball and Leaf sends me flying. Now I land and run for the TD but I’m too far out. I sense more than see the Minotaurs blitz in the behind me and then everything is black.
My head hurts and I sit up, it feel like I’m going to pass out again. Out in the field Pork has the ball and has Leaf and Oakey on each side. The score is unchanged. One of the bulls is sent out of the game by Leaf and Oakey makes sure a dwarf doesn’t wake up again during this game. I want to see more but the hurts even more now. Maybe I just lie down a little.
I must have dozed off. The head still throbs put I sit up anyway. It doesn’t look good. The remaining bullcentaur has the ball and is running to the EZ. A lightning bolt knocks him out and Harley picks up the ball tries to hand off to Sam but fails. A hob tries to reach the ball but Danny tackles him down. I must lie down aga….
The spectators are yelling loudly, disapproving. I sit up to see and notice that one of the hobgoblins with the hypnotic eyes is making obscene gestures at the public and the ref sends him off. I think he score because it now says 2-0. The whistle blows and the game is over….

2-0(4-2)

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Pug »

Nice draw!
Shame Morg didn't make much of an impression.

As always, great stories...love reading them.

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

IN THE HEAD OF ENTRE COAT

In every league I’ve heard or seen there has been one team, known primarily because their brutality. Their tendency to decimate the opposing team whether they won or lose is often enough to use as scary tales at campfires. Enough to make sure young Halflings behave and most of all enough to make sure only the best and bravest flings dare enter the blood bowl field.
In the Fury Blood Bowl league, that team is called Darkness of Doom. And as it happens, that’s the name our next(and last) opponent in the Blood Bowl Cup. Before entering the field I take a quick glance at their statistics and see a casualty rate of 7 cas per game. And as if that wasn’t enough, my mother has come to see the game. I cannot get hurt, whatever the cost.
As I enter the field together with Morg and Deeproot I notice mutated the chaos team is. Claws tentacles and extra arms are just a few of the things that I notice, especially claws. The coin toss is lost. We set up. And whistle is blown.
Kick Off
Before the ball even lands, I notice Clara Carrot read from a scroll she has been hiding….somewhere. A subtle shimmer in the air, traveling through the air, is all that indicates that whatever she did, hit the beastman that is about to get pick up the ball. Suddenly, as if unsure of whether or not he knows how to pick up a ball he fumbles the pickup with his three arms. But not before Morg and Leaf was seriously injured and had to leave the game.
The sudden loss of the two giants is great but seeing as the ball still is on the ground I decide to go for it. Thanks to Pork and CO, a hole appears on my path to the ball. A lightning bolt hits the cursed beastman and I grab the ball. Almost there, I’m almost at the endzone when I feel more than see the heavy tackle of their Minotaur on my back.
I finally come to my senses. Scan for the ball. A beast man is carrying it over the LoS, well guarded. The trees are both on the floor. Only Pork seems to be active at the moment. I run back and do some signs to the guys. I see how they gather around the cage and then I mark a warrior forcing him to block me. I refuse to get injured and my marking opens for Pork to reach the ballcarrier. The ball carrier falls and the ball scatters. Several warriors fumble with the ball. So do I and Pork and when it finally comes to rest, it’s in the Minotaurs angry hands.
By the time I get up we’ve lost Sam, Bab and Carl. The Minotaur stands roaring while a beastman is waiting to receive the ball from him. I dodge, dodge again, and fall but I still refuse to get hurt! My mother is watching. Suddenly the Minotaur starts running to the endzone and hands the ball over a beastman. I try to get at him, but I’m too far away 1-0(0-5).
Second drive
It is very obvious where this is going. We won’t get another chance. Ham reads the kick off perfectly and brings the ball to me. I stand ready to be thrown by Oaky. Something is wrong! I don’t manage to land on my feet and I drop the ball. Oaky grabs it by mistake and holds it. They don’t hesitate. The jump on Oaky and takes him down. One of the Warriors get the ball despite having Deeproot in his face. Another warrior that tries to dodge out from Deeproot stumbles on one of Deeproots roots and is carried off to the dead &injury dugout.
We have to Pommel the Warrior, and we do. Oaky makes sure to grab him in between us and we jump on him with fervor. But then his friends arrive and the ballcarrying warrior runs for the EndZone like if we weren’t there. I hear a beastman fall while trying to get away from Deep but my eyes con only see when the warrior enters the Endzone and score 2-0(8-2).

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Pug »

Damned Chaos, they are nasty once tooled up with skills and mutations....good effort...even if Morg was pants again this match.

Chin up lads, the flings march on!

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

Dear Diary,
The new season is about to start and yesterday I saw that Bloodsports Magazine made a series of articles about us. First out is Oaky Dokey:

“They have been called Furys daredevils, mostly due to their inability to avoid dangerous opponents. They have lost big, small, medium and even one victory once! but no matter what the result they always come back for more! Todays special is about the only active Halfling team in FBBL! The Mootland Beasts!
The Mootland Beast : 14 games played, 9 losses, 4 draws and 1 win.
These little fellers aren’t expected to get anywhere near the finals but they still managed to get a decent crowd to their games. What I personally love about a Beast-game is that when you least expect it they go ahead and amaze you with one of their funny little plays.
As usual, we on Bloodsports magazine have gathered a buckload of info on each and everyone playing in the Beasts. We filtered and compiled it into a easy-to-read(for all you trollz out there!) compendium. Enjoy!

Player #1
Name: Oaky Dokey
Position:Treeman
A very popular player! Has won the MVP three times in the last season and second only to Leaf It when it come to casualties. Has a very easy-going personality and he is ambidextrous! He can hit as easy with his right arm(branch?) as his left one. And sometimes even BOTH! Something very useful when surrounded by pesky little opponents (from his view everyone is little). He is also known for not letting things(or players) go.
Trivia: Rumors say that Oakys grabbing is the reason Zara never has come back to play with the Beasts.”


I've always wondered why Zara didn't play more games with us. Think I'll keep an eye out for him, you never know what he thinks is "up for grabs".

Our first game this season will be against a chaos team by the name of "Da Deef Squad". Both the chef and Deeproot have confirmed their presence. A good thing since Leaf It still is recuperating.
Well Diary, enough for today.

SS

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Axtklinge »

:lol:
Loved the "GRAB" joke!

Good luck against those "Deef's"!
Go Beasts!
:)

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

Dear Diary

The game against "Da Deef Squad" went as well as could be expected. They hit us hard, never letting us have a chance. And we let them. I for one wasn't going to risk my life for such a lousy chef! Everyone else were on the same mind so as soon as they touched us we made sure to stay down.
Although there was a highlight, everyone faked getting injured, everyone except Pork. He was actually dead several minutes after a nasty tackle. He had it coming, since he refused to stay down. Hadn't it been for that apo, my world would have been much better. The result? 0-2(0-4)

Here is the second article about us:

Player #4
Name: Peter "The Hot Dog" Pork
Position:Blitzer

"Everyone remembers the headlines "Killer halfling on the loose" and "A bloody Puggy on the rising". They were caused by the Beasts most infamous player, Peter Pork, when in a single match against the chaos team Mayhem Athletics he manages to kill both "Fifteen Fingers of Fame" AND the team captain "Captain Chaos".

After that a long period of time passed without nothing new being heard from him until he got the Most Valuable player award in the Blood Bowl Cup.

Now the rumors say he is back and meaner than ever....”


He's still living on old merits. The only thing anyone needs to know about him is that he is and always will be a douche.

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

Dear Diary

The coach had high hopes when we met the team Bad Kompany. He had a lot to say about the inefficiency of having three big guys. He also mentioned that our trees had toghether had more experience than their whole team. So it was with a rather high morale that the guys went out to play.

I should have known better.

The First sign was that there were no chefs available so we had to content ourselves with the lousy one we had against Da Deef Squad.
The Second sign was the three injured players that crowded our dugout 6 minutes in to the game.
the Third sign was when they scored...on our drive.

Well, I know a losing game when I see one so I was all over everyone dumb enough to lay down. And luckily the ref was very vigil. Almost before my foot reach its target the ref had blown the whistle and I had survived another game. The first TD against us came shortly thereafter.
We were heavily undermanned by the second half. Our seven player(DeepRoot, Oaky, Leaf, Harley, Pork, Bob and Bab) against their full team. The lousy cooking of our chef didn't really help and the Chaos pact team were already celebrating. And they started with the ball.

They must have been feeling really sure of themselves because they do something as stupid as passing the ball to the Mino. The mino takes a few step before realizing that he is supposed to score, not chase after my remaining team members. That made him so angry he couldn't do anything but shake of anger were he stood. That's when I see him. Peter f***g Pork. Peter "I want to be a hero" Pork. Peter "I have no brains" Pork.

Leaf throws him to the Mino. He lands toe to toe with him. AND TRIES TO TACKLE HIM! Luckily for him Bob had seen the whole thing and had run over to help witch may have helped some because the Mino was pushed back. The Mino sees Pork and starts screaming out his fury. Pork launches himself against the horned beasts belly. The tumbling that followed ended in both players leaving the pitch for injuries that will prevent them from playing the next game at the very least. But who cares about Pork, the ball is loose!
Broccoli Bob takes the ball, goes through four Marodeurs and hands off the ball to Harley Ham. Harley runs up to Oaky and flies towards the opposing endzone landing barely within reach before the time runs out.
Somehow he is totally free within range for the equalizing TD and no one within reach of stopping him! So he goes fot it and stumbles on his onw feet one step short of the endzone. 1-0(5-3)

This weeks article...

Player #3
Name: Harley "The Shyguy" Ham
Position:Secondary Ball Handler
"Mr Ham is a quiet guy. He likes to mind his own business and stay out of trouble. Known for doing absolutely nothing during the game until the last minute. Usually he will just be in the right place, at the right time. Unfortunaly he is also know for falling short of reaching the Endzone"

Trivia: There are rumors suggesting that Harley is obsessed with Entre. He even has the same running shoes(for extra sure footing) as Coat! And yet he is known for [/b]stumbling on his own feet.

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Axtklinge »

That "stumble on his own feet" was a real pity...
I'm sure they'll fare better next time!
:D

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Snap Wilson »

This is the greatest thread ever, of course. I would buy Mootland Beasts gear.

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Re: The Mootland Beasts

Post by Afroman »

Dear Diary

Yesterday we played against the second chaos pact team in the Fury Minor League, Bad Taste. We played against them last season in Fury Rookie League and I remember that it was a close call. Yesterday was no different.
After the game against Bad Kompany last week, the news that Bad Tastes coach had fired their Ogre came lifted our spirits greatly. As always Pork boasted and shrieked about how he was going to smash them to pieces blah blah blah. My sentiment towards Pork has gone so far that I'm started to get physical reactions whenever he is near. I get and urge to take Entres custom made shoes and shove it down his throat. Surely that must count as an allergy of some sort?
Either way coach said the usual words and send us out to play.

First Half,
Bat taste won the coin toss.
We noticed right away that a few things had happened since our last encounter. One of those things was that their goblin had grown a new head on his back that was almost as annoying as Pork in a good day.
A very agile dark elf and the goblin made reaching the ball a hard task but the tree managed to establish some kind of dominance on the center of the field. First couple of minutes resulted in several of their players getting knocked out thus forcing him to go for the fast score. Pork had a moment where he managed to bring down the elf with a diving tackle. To bad the ball bounce right in the hands og the goblin who when on and scored.

Second Drive
We had time and not all their players had regained consciousness by the time the second drive started. Despite this our advance was somewhat crippled by the fact that Both Leafy and Oaky took root almost as soon as the ball landed in our part of the field.
Entre took the ball and tried to find a hole but it all boiled down to the throw in the end.
Seriously, Entre gets thrown at least once per game so you would think he knows how to land by now. As it was, he crashed into the Minotaur resulting in both losing consciousness. The half ended soon there after and the babes managed to wake up everyone on our team.

Second Half
Still being outnumbered, Bad Tastes player decided to keep their distance from the trees. Pork and his groupies managed to take one out and things were looking good when the dark elf somehow gets to blitz Entre who is holding the ball AND gets the ball despite Leaf, Bob and me trying to stop him.
Now everything happens real fast.
Leaft blitzes the elf.
Entre gets the ball and gives it to Bob.
Oaky throws Bob who crashes and gets a smashed collar bone.
A Marauder gets the ball but is promptly taken out by pork and his gang.
and Adam Applechin takes the ball and runs for it.
He dodges a flying goblin and equalizes the score.

The ref blows the whistle.

A draw is something of an achievement for this team so we are ready to start the after game food party right away when coach let us know he has agreed to play overtime. I can see what he is thinking. We will get one point for the draw whether or not we win the OT. And we have a good chance of scoring too. But the chef has been wonderful and I can't hardly wait to get some of that corn Pie.

OVERTIME
I've heard people talk about overtime before. And what the say is that whoever wins the toss usually wins.
Well the won the toss.
They hurt Adam badly but they leave an opening on the ball carrying Elf. Entre takes him on and actually kill him thus getting the ball loose. Their troll get hold of the ball but Oaky makes sure he doesn't go anywhere.
But somehow, the Mino(yeah he woke up) takes down Oaky. The troll gives the ball to a Marauder and he runs the ball in despite Porks blitz on him.
we lost but we gained our first point in the league.

1-2(3-1)

They have published yet another article about us!

Player #2
Name: Leaf It
Position:Blitzer

Leaf It is a Rock, well technically she is a tree but for her friends she has allways been The firm friend they can rely on. A friend that can guard a secret like no other. A Rock. Her play style suggests that she is aspiring to become a rolling Rock.

Trivia: Rumors are that she has got some of her training from Deeproot himself. Apparently that is way she is so good at blocking. We at Bloodsport wonder what Deeproot is getting out of it......

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