A Tale of the Worst Game Ever

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rolo
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A Tale of the Worst Game Ever

Post by rolo »

I just want to be clear, I am NOT complaining about my opponent (he was friendly and skillful) or even the dice (it happens). By "Worst Game", I'm talking only about the end result, and my utter inability to affect that end result in any way for the entire game.

Round 6 of EurOpen, my Lizardmen vs Whilou's Wood Elves. Not the greatest matchup for me, like every tournament Wood Elf team, his Wardancers had Strip Ball and Tackle, which is a nightmare with weak ST2 ball carriers. But it's not impossible either. Whilou entered the game in the lead for Most Touchdowns, and informed me that he would be playing aggressively, hoping for the trophy. (All he needed to say was "I am playing Wood Elves") ... ;)

We rolled weather first, like the old fashioned coaches we are. Sweltering Heat. 11 Lizards vs 11 Elves, this could be good, could be bad ... ...

Elves get FAME (and have a cheerleader and coach), win the toss. They get an extra reroll from the kickoff result and bang out their 2-turner. All I can do is make him roll dice, Elves get what they need. 0:1.

We both lose 3 players to Sweltering Heat (Krox and 2 Saurus for me, couple linemen and I think the thrower for him). He sets up his defense, I set up my four Saurus and four Skinks, kickoff. Blitz, of course. 2 catchers dodge their way through tacklezones to the ball, Wardancer knocks down and pins a Saurus, Catcher catches the ball.
I can block a Saurus free for a 3d blitz on the Catcher (both had Block). He's still standing even after a reroll. On his turn, 3+, 3+, 2+ dodge and TD. 0:2 after I've played 2 turns.

I get just absolutely shafted by Sweltering Heat, and can only set up (as I recall) something like Kroxigor, 3 Saurii, 3 Skinks. Wood Elves get another reroll from the kickoff. My offense starts out okay, Cas a lineman, pick up the ball, protect the Skinks as best I can (not very). And he actually fails a leap on his turn (sadly doesn't break). But a turnover with a skink dodge leaves me exposed, Tackle Wardancer CAS's my ball carrier, ball scatters decently enough all things considered, but his thrower runs in with 3+, 4+ dodges, 4+ pick up the ball, 3+, 2+ dodge, pass the ball out to a catcher. TD. I've played 4 turns and I'm down 0:3.

I get a decent number of players back, and only lose a Saurus and Skink to sweltering heat. So while I'm only fielding 2 skinks, at least I should be able to mostly protect them.
Kickoff. Blitz. Wood Elves recover the ball. I can actually blitz and knock down their catcher! But I can't really do anything more, there's a bit of a pigpile over the ball deep in my own half for a few turns, but that's only ever going to end one way. 0:4 in the Wood Elf turn 7.

I try for the improbable 2-turner. All I get for my troubles is a Seriously Injured Skink in the CAS box. I can't remember now if my Apothecary failed, or if I (stupidly) decided to save him for the second half. Still 0:4 at Halftime.

Second half, I again lose an absolutely drastic amount of players to Sweltering Heat, setting up 5 players (Kroxigor, 2 Saurus, 2 Skinks). Wood Elves field I think 8 players, including Tree, Leader, both Wardancers, and a Catcher. I get in a decent hit on a wardancer, CAS'ing the Stripper (!!!) (Highlight of the game), but the Tackler takes down my ball carrier and the ball scatters right next to the catcher. Who hasn't moved yet. 0:5.

Sweltering Heat is actually good for me, I field all the Saurus, the Krox, and one Skink. Wood Elves lose their second Wardancer for the drive (YES!!), and can only field 5 players. One TD won't make much difference in the score, but it will for my pride, so I play it safe with 3 Saurii on the line, everyone else nice and deep.
Kickoff, Weather Change!! Too late to make a difference but still satisfying. Kick lands at the edge of the board, scatters twice but doesn't go out. Pick up the ball and start moving forward as safely as I can. Wood Elves are just lying there, tree roots, perfect. He has four players who can move. Lineman cancels out some assists, Catcher takes a 5+ dodge to get one die on my last Skink ... of course that skink goes down (but doesn't break!), ball scatters into two of my tackle zones. His second lineman makes several non-trivial dodges (he has no rerolls left by now), pick up the ball in two Tackle Zones, passes out of two Tackle Zones to a catcher ... not intercepted ... ... oh no ...
... but the pass is inaccurate. Catcher goes into the stands. Every Wood Elf on the field is either stunned or pinned by the Krox (not that he'd been stopping them much ...). But my last skink can't pick up the ball on turn 15, even with a my last reroll, and therefore can't reach the end zone on turn 16.
My last chance on turn 16 is to run a Saurus into the end zone as a receiver, pick up the ball (works), throw a 5+ pass (Stunty). 1. Game over.

Whilou won the most TD's award.

About the only positive I had from this game is that I managed to not whine like a crybaby when the dice were going against me. I hate that when I'm the one with all the luck so I try not to be too poor of a sport when it's going against me. But it was the last game of the tournament, everyone got a field anyway, the L "only" bumped me down to 2-2-2, and after the game my teammate brought me a cool cup of Beirão. I guess if the worst thing that happens to me is getting blown out by Wood Elves, it's still possible to have a pretty good day.

Whilou, if you're reading this, I hope we can play again some time for an actual competitive game ;)

Reason: ''
"It's 2+ and I have a reroll. Chill out. I've got this!"
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Topas
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Re: A Tale of the Worst Game Ever

Post by Topas »

Sat next to him. Kudos for keeping his cool.

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Reedar
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Re: A Tale of the Worst Game Ever

Post by Reedar »

Brutal game. A good write up and well done for taking the positives from it...

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